Dear Brothers,
I write to you today with the saddest of heart. A young brother of ours passed to chapter eternal. Brother Max Pennebaker, an undergraduate member of Alpha Chi Chapter at Mississippi State University, is and has been loved by many. A building construction science major, Max was initiated as our brother in January of this year and lived at the fraternity house. Max’s passing is a particularly hard blow to our brothers of Alpha Chi, as it has only been since July 18th that Barry Toney, a beloved Alpha Chi graduate brother and long-time devoted BOG and Housing Corporation volunteer, met an unexpected and tragic death.
I invite all of us - - all Phi Tau brothers across this country - - to join in prayer and solidarity with our graduate and undergraduate brothers of Alpha Chi as well as Max’s family and friends. I and CEO Matt Arnold spoke with Alpha Chi President Jack Flower last night as well as Housing Corporation President Dennis Daniels. Both are coping as well as can be expected, but our hearts go out for our hurting brothers. I plan on visiting the brothers of Alpha Chi on Tuesday of next week. As of last night, we don’t have a date for Max’s service.
These moments call upon us to revisit our feeling of why we have chosen to be part of this brotherhood. Just five weeks ago, I traveled to Dallas with several other Phi Tau brothers to attend the funeral service of Chris Moncrief, a Phi Tau brother who died in a tragic car accident. We arrived early and sat in an empty church awaiting family and friends to arrive. The eerie extended silence ultimately was broken when I began to hear the sounds of heels walking into the church and up the center aisle. For a while, the sounds of heels sounding the arrival of loved ones were the only sound we all heard. It was during those moments when it occurred to me that Chris’ spirit was speaking to me, using the sounds of loved ones who arrived to remember this great man.
I tell you all this because my experience in Chris’ unexpected passing weaved into my experience of the tragic passing of Barry and Max and led me to write the following homage to our fallen brothers. Perhaps these words may help you, as it helped me, embrace that our brothers never leave us - - they just speak to us in a different way:
The Voice of Our Brother
boots stand on morning dew
drums aligned to make their call
mist of grey across the hill
silence for the heart who fell
sticks raised to strike drum’s rim
life meets death in this sad song
rimshots sound the faithful call
honor to the brave and strong
another place another time
death again has struck its chord
sun filters through stained glass frowns
and people whisper “why, oh Lord?”
steeple bells sound their call
giving notice our brother lies still
men come walking from all around
Phi Taus joining to say farewell
faithful now as faithful then
brothers come remembering
holes in hearts so full of loss
darkness plucks its steady string
hear steps walk up center aisle
passing pews that house their pain
sounds of heels sing quietly
life and death meet here again
faithful come and soul finds way
steps, like sticks, sing out soul’s song
try to hear his clarion call
“i live, i’m here, my soul lives strong”
hear the call to feel soul’s grace
dark can fade for morning’s dew
hearts yearn to hear his voice
soul seeps through grey mist in pew
in harvard red and old gold
in each twist of hearts that bind
our brother’s road does not end
his heart and ours here combined
his soul yearns for us to know
as brothers gather to console
each step we take remembering
will offer sound to brother’s soul
in silence listen close to hear
a message of a diff’rent way
brother’s soul lives on through us
brotherhood forever stays
sounds of heels loosen death’s grip
there soul reaches deep within
listen for our brother’s voice
where life meets death and always wins
As one brother honestly acknowledged to us last night, the passing of Barry and Max is very difficult to process. And so how best to do that? One way I am able to is in remembering that the passing of any one of our brothers calls upon me to revisit my roots as a Phi Tau. And so I urge all of us to let the legacy of the lives of Max, Barry, Chris and all other brothers who no longer walk among us be a call to all of us to embrace again and again the root of why we are Phi Taus - - to love each other - - to remember that our membership in our brotherhood is not driven by a call for more numbers, whether numbers of men, or money, or chapters, but rather it is driven by a desire for meaningful, lasting brotherhood in this wonderful fraternity.
We hurt today because we miss our brothers. Let us listen to the voice of their souls still within us and forever alive through our remembrance of that love. May God bless the souls of these men and all of us who loved them.
With everlasting fraternal love,
“Mike” McCrum